Because no one on our staff wanted their picture taken, I compromised by leaving the stock photos exactly as they were in the template. When I ran out of those stock pics, I just did a Google search for “stock employee images” and used those. I don’t know why everyone is so insecure around here.
I (briefly) tried working with a marketing agency that specializes in daycare and boarding facilities and they suggested I use actual pictures of my staff instead of this. I knew right then and there that it wasn't gonna work out with them.
OWNER
Michael Mayer
MANAGER
Matty
Matty is really nice and she's tiny. Her dog is neither of these things. Matty also vapes (outside) and, as a former smoker, it makes me incredibly jealous. She also went on an unhinged bedazzling spree here and no flat surface was safe.
MANAGER/GROOMER
Sam
Sam knows every dog's name, even if she's met them once, three years ago for two minutes. Her attention to detail is both impressive and mildly terrifying. If I had to fight someone here, Sam would be at the bottom of that list.
DOG WRANGLER
Ashley
Ashley REFUSES to watch “Making a Murderer”, even though I know she’d really enjoy it. Ashley has worked here long enough to tune me out when I start talking about what she should be watching. This is probably pretty wise.
Dog Wrangler
Lyra
Lyra is from Beaumont which, no offense to anyone from Beaumont, seems like a fairly terrible place. I have confirmation from Lyra that it is, in fact, a fairly terrible place. Let's all not go to Beaumont.
DOG WRANGLER
Kenneth
Kenneth is VERY quiet. Not, like, "dangerous" quiet, more "peaceful" quiet. I'm a big fan of 30 Rock and want to call him Kenneth Ellen Parcell but I know he won't get the joke.
DOG WRANGLER
Kaylee
Kaylee is new and she seems a little baffled by my lack of organization. It's a fair observation. I have a lot of lists. I have lists of lists. I have lists on paper and in my email and in the Notes app on my phone. Despite all those lists, I still feel like I'm missing something.
Dog Wrangler
Mireya
Mireya is VERY nice and VERY new so I'm gonna pump the brakes here until I can form an opinion.
Dog
Pablo
Pablo comes to work with me once or twice a week. He tolerates being in a group with other dogs so he can spend an hour or so every day scavenging for stray bits of dog food wherever he can find them. He also has heterochromia and a former employee (yeah you, VANESSA) once referred to him as a "fat, black snake" because of his peculiar build. Unkind but accurate.